Tuesday, 27 March 2012

Carmilla paced her partment like an animal. So many conflicting thoughts running through her head. So many questions, so many answers, but which ones were the right ones.

Personal Log - The hour of uncertainty, the day of joy

One day I will get to the bottom of how this log works. Yes, a day of joy as I am happy. Everything that I have set out to do today has come to fruition, even my foray out into lowsec came off without a hitch. Though I was in a cloaked transport. It was interesting to see.... how everything works.

But an hour of uncertainty... I'm not sure what it is with this place. I am happy and content. And yet every time I speak to people inside I judge myself. Such as with Astrid, I could hear the tone in her voice, though I could not see the look on her face. How can I face these people when I voluntarily became what they were forced to be. I am changing, becoming more... more.... Oh god, I wish she was here. She has all the answers. And yet... I look at this picture... I just can't....

With a curse Carmilla picked up the picture frame and threw it, smashing it against the wall.
No more, she thought to herself, no more. I am here now.. to stay. She cannot touch me.

Things change. People change. I have changed.

Log Addendum

After the last time when I stormed out to save her because of a dream I had, which may or may not have been with the guidance of the spirits, I watched her go out to fight alone as I waited. There was no panic this time. Just pride.

I know now that I am here to stay, with her. She sees so much potential in me, and she will be there for me regardless. I just need to do more for her. For both of them.

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