Sunday, 29 April 2012


She ran.

She ran from the apartment, as she'd ran from the island.

It was happening again. Too many choices, too many needs, too many desires.

Someone would get hurt. And it wouldn't be her.

She thought back to earlier, Kikia ignoring her. Reks enigmatic smile. The offer from Aliza the night before and always at the back there was Leo, waiting.

Maybe she was thinking too much into things. Maybe she was looking at it from the wrong perspective again.



No way to turn without hurting someone she loved, someone she wanted to be with. It was just like before, just worse this time. Before it was just Bill and Ithiria. Now there were more.

Oh cursed heart, wherefore has thou taken me.

Despair, the finest wine of the melancholy heart. And I have drunk my fill.


Carmilla sat at the edge of the circle and watched as the ceremony progressed. The voluval of several friend and corp mates, an addition to the tribe. It  should have been a joyous occasion for her, but the events of the evening had proven less so. A darkness filled her, a dread that she couldn't name. And it scared her.

She watched Rek and Aphox as they prepared, taking a casual interest in both, but her mind on other things. Reaching around she touched her own voluval and sighed and leant against Orchid.
"I wish I could be happier, but my head is still swimming with the drink and my heart torn."
Orchid, her sebiestor guardian slipped her arm around her and smiled as she squeezed her.
"Do not worry, it is important that you turned up. And you knew before that you were dead to her."
"Yes, but it's one thing to hear it from others, it's something different to hear it from her lips."

They watched as Ava performed the voluvals, heard the names of their marks and saw the joyful look on their faces. Now they were complete. With sad eyes she looked over at Kikia, her heart leaping. If only she was there when she awoke. Then she wouldn't have needed to drown her sorrows. Then she wouldn't have run into Ithiria.

By the spirits, even after all this time her head still spun when she thought of her. If Alizabeth wasn't there, who knows what would have happened. But then Aliza was always good at keeping a sensible head on her shoulders. And she couldn't count how many times she had needed to ask her advice when others had not been available. Maybe it was her choice of drinking establishment. The Ivory Tower. Of all the places to end up. 

"Take me home Orchid. Please, just take me home."
Carmilla openly wept as Orchid supported her and walked towards the landing platforms. Putting her into the shuttle and strapping her in she pulled a small hypo from a pouch on her hip and pressed it against Carmilla's neck. She watched as her eyes shut and she drifted into a sleep and then locked the shuttle and walked back. 

She found them all, now drinking and celebrating and walked over to Rek and Aphoxema, bowing towards them both.
"If I may, Rek, Aphoxema, I hope you will not take offence to... Carmilla's absence. She has had a trying day and is in need of rest."
"Is she allright?" Aphox looked at the little sebbie with concern.
Orchid looked between them at Kikia and smiled softly
"She is lonely. And Kikia has been busy with affairs of late, it's taxing to her. For one such as she to put all her love on one person, well, she goes a little melancholy. It rings of past endevours and she gets restless. Luckily we are there to keep her straight, and the others who know and care for her."
"Where are you taking her?" 
Rek turned and looked at Kikia and Ava both deep in conversation.
"Home. Our... home."
"To the Geisha House?"
"Yes. I am not sure how she will react if she wakes up alone again. I don't want to risk it in the state she's in. She's also not been sleeping well."
"I wonder... Maeve...."
"Yes. That's the name she calls out in her sleep."
"Leave it with us Orchid. One of us will talk to her tomorrow, probably me."
"Rek, take care of her. She needs someone to be there. Someone strong or she will revert to type."
"I know. That's why I'm worried. Where was she earlier?"
"The last ones I know of were the Tempest Gardens, the Last Gate, and the Ivory Tower."
Rek shook his head at the mention of the last.
"I'll have words with her. Go, look after her and bring her to me tomorrow. You'll know when."
The little sebbiestor bowed again and scurryed away as Kikia walked over.
"Was that Carm? She looks different."
"No, was Orchid, one of her girls."
"Where is she? I wanted to see her."
"She's gone. Kiki, we need to talk about Carm."

Rek watched as the shuttle took off and departed. Then he smiled and laughed. She could wait til tomorrow, tonight was his night, his and Aphox's. Tonight he was a man! And he would celebrate as was custom!

Carmilla awoke the next morning pressed in between her two girls. She looked up at the glass ceiling and saw the three of them together, like sisters.Sighing happily she closed her eyes and let her mind wander.

Maeve sat on the end of the pier and she sat down next to her. Looking over at Maeve she smiled and pulled her close and just held her.
"You dont have to say it Maeve, I know."
"She does love you. Shes just distracted. If you are not there when she awakes though, she may be as you were yesterday. Go to her."
"Right away.... "
She leaned over and kissed Maeve and opened her eyes, sitting up and slapping both of her girls on their rumps
"Come on, we're in teh wrong place. My kikia isn't here!"

Kikia awoke slowly to the feeling of bodies all around her. To her left and her right and slumped across her legs were three almost identical sebeistor women, all with red hair, yet only one covered with snake and dragon tattoos. Carmilla! She looked left and right and nodded. And her girls. She smiled and entwined her fingers in carm's hair and laid her hand on her stomach. Sometimes it was easy to forget someone who was so necessary to her, but the tribe comes first. Carm moved slightly and moaned in her sleep and she smiled wider. No, she'd never forget Carm. Nor would her daughter. With a lighter heart than she had known for a few days she drifted back into sleep, her hand still gripping her Carms hair tightly.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

One worth reading

There are many blogs out there for Eve that are worth reading, and afew that are worth keeping, and I keep a fair few.

But this is a blatent plug for a mates blog as he did the same for me once :)

He's gone from strength to strength, and it's still a kick ass read :) Good on ya Mail :)

Three Days of Rest

Carmilla awoke, her eyes adjusting to the gloom of the darkened room slowly. Kikia lay beside her, fast asleep a look of contentment on her face. She reached over to the bedside table and tapphied the lamp base and a warm glow filled the room. From the corner of the room there came gentle purring from the four tiny kittens. Carm slipped out of the bed and went over to the basket and started fussing with them, quickly making sure they had enough food and water and opened the front of the basket. She scooped one of them up and returned to their bed and let the kitten curl up next to her lover.

She picked up her datatablet and started tapping away, sending out several encrypted messages. Picking up one of the kittens that had made its way over to her and was rubbing its head on her ankle.
"Come on little one, its time to wake them up."
Kneeling on the bed she leaned over and placed a kiss on her Kikias cheek. She watched with a smile as she stirred and looked up with her amber eyes.
"Good morning my sweet. I have something special in mind for you today. It is time you had some relaxation. You can fight again tomorrow... today is for us."
Kikia reached up and caressed Carms face with a smile. She looked upon the woman above her who meant so much to her and pulled her face down and kissed her gently on the lips.
"Good morning my love. And you know that I have to be out there. It is my duty to our tribe, I have to..."
Carmilla kissed her back, cutting off her words then putting her finger on her lips.
"Hush my sweet. I told you I would protect you and I will. You are no use to anyone if you are too tired to function... even you need some time to rest and relax."
Kikia scowled but laid back, one hand going to her stomach. It was true what she was saying and she had been far too active recently.
"You know I can order you to do what I tell you."
She said it as a matter of fact knowing that Carm would obey blindly. But... she thought as she looked up at her... not today. There was something different in her, ever since she had come back from her clan initiation. A new passion in her eyes, a new set of her shoulders. Pride and confidence had returned to her she knew. She knew what was going through her mind the same had gone through hers. There was a defiance that could not would not be broken. And Carmilla was devoted to her, and to Maeve in a way that went beyond their friendship, beyond their love. Something more... something...

Kikia smiled as the realisation washed over her. Carmilla finally understood, she accepted her place in her clan, in their corp, in their tribe. Carm was her friend, her lover, her protector. And she knew that nothing short of her death would stop her. Carmilla had become Fedaykin.

It didn't take long for them boh to dress and get ready, carm fussing over her and making everything as perfect as she could. Halete was given the kittens to look after and they made their way into the station. As the shuttle docked at the main hangerbays they were met by two of Carmilla's girls. They were both sebiestor, both red heads and both had a remarkable resemblance to her.
"Carm, who are these two?"
"They are my personal bodyguard. They protect me when I am out and they will protect you both as well. This is Rose, and this is Orchid. Girls, you both know Kikia, protect her as you do me."
The two girls, both clad identically in tight combat trousers and quafe t-shirts with pistols on their hips bowed to her. Kikia smiled and hugged them both.
"You seem to have thought of everything."
"I have much to think on when it comes to your protection. You are our leader, our shaman, and you carry a future shaman of our tribe. Your safety is the air i breathe, your love is the blood in my veins, without you... i am nothing my love."
"Oh Carmilla, what would I do without you?"
Carm smiled as they walked towards the great bulk of the Pilgrim class recon cruiser.
"All sorts of silly things probably."
"And i wish you would fly more matari ships Carm. You know my feelings towards them."
"I fly what is required for your safety. And this is more than adequate, more so than my Rapier. Hey, trust me."
She smiled and looped her arm through Kikias.
"Besides where we are going we would be safe in a shuttle. This is just for added protection."

The two of them watched from the bridge of the cruiser as it pulled out of warp and decelerated into the orbit of a planet. The rings of the planet seemed to shine in the rays of the sun and from where they were in orbit they could see that most of the upper hemisphere was covered in a blanket of white.

They docked at a small industrial station orbiting the planet and were met at the landing bay doors. The two girls kept a discrete distance but their eyes and ears were open, their hands on their pistol hilts. With a whine of ancient hydraulics the landing bay doors opened revealing an obese amarrian surrounded by heavily armed guards. Kikia bit back a cry and both Rose and Orchid were suddenly in front of them pistols out. The Amarrian seemed amused.
"So this is how you greet your old friends, Little Snake?"
"Salah, you old slaver, your greetings get more banal in your old age."
The Amarrian laughed so his huge frame shook and he pressed a broach on his tunic, the
"Well they manage to scare away those who are not invited. And those who are not put off I can deal with, that and the hounds."
He chuckled to himself and turned and headed onto the station. Kikia squeezed Carms arm.
"Who is that?"
"Salah? I have known him for years. He runs a variety of illegal smuggling and mining operations. He found this for me and I kept it in mind for something like this."
"You scare me sometimes."
"And yet you are safer here than in Abudban. Salah knew I was coming the early warning systems put most naval bases to shame."

They followed him into the station and came to another docking bay, this one with an old atmospheric shuttle inside. Salah watched two of his men putting a large box into the aft cargo hold and came over.
"Everything is all set now, my friend. The shuttle is set for the upper landing pad, where we usually do supply runs. And one of my guards will fly it to the lower one. Ziba is at the pad and has the track ready for you."
Salah walked over to Kikia and bowed graciously to her.
"My dear, it is a pleasure to meet the young lady who has captured my friends heart. I hope the two of you will be happy. It is a pity that one such as I cannot call you a friend as I am many of the things I know you hate."
"We are at eternal war, your people and mine."
"The prospect of being your friend makes defeat seem like a winning proposal."
Kikia smiled and walked over and gave the Amarrian a hug, kissing him on the cheek.
"You are a friend of my Carms. That is all I need to know to judge you. May the spirits guide your path."

The shuttle was old and creaked and screamed as it entered the atmosphere but was soon in. Flying on automatic it made its way towards one of the continents that was covered in snow and ice and landed heavily at a camouflaged landing pad high in the mountains. As they all disembarked Orchid and Rose pulled the large crate out and began handing out cold weather gear while a tall khanid woman walked over and stopped before them. Kikia looked out from the fur lined hood as Carm walked over and stood before the woman. For a few minutes they watched each other then laughed and hugged each other, slapping each on the back as if they hadn't seen each other for years.
"Kikia, this is Ziba. She was one of my smuggler friends back in the day. We got parted when Kael captured me oh.. years ago."
"You do have the most interesting friends my love."
Carm pushed Kikis hood back and took her face in her hands and kissed her gently. She watched the tender smile on her face and beamed.
"Come on, the girls have the track ready. Ziba is the beacon working?"
"I took it out this morning to check. Then checked it again when Salah asked me. Enjoy the trip, all of you. I have made sure there is no one else there for at least three days."
"Thanks Ziba. You take care of yourself, okay?"

The four of them sat in the snow track and pulled out an old map. Carm pointed out to where they were heading and the route they were advised to take and then sat back and pulled Kikia into her arms.
"How many more surprises do you have for me?"
"Just one more. I think this place reminds me of home, planetside."
"Carm... you brought me here to see snow and ice? What sort of surprise is that?"
"This is not your surprise. Trust me."
Kiki looked out of the windows and saw icy peaks and valleys. Snow and ice, forests coveredd in snow. It did look like home, but there was nothing spectacular. Other than being with her Carm, it was slightly dissapointing. Carm, sensing something in her simply squeezed her and held her.
"Look out the front window."

As she said it the track tilted down as it followed a path. Directly before them lay a hidden valley. The snow and ice had retreated leaving a large lake surrounded by grassy hills. A large cabin was situated by the side of the lake and smoke was coming from a chimney. Trees surrounded the lake and the whole valled looked magical. Kikia pressed forward and looked out.
"How did you find such a place?"
"I just knew what I wanted to find for you. And this place is one in a million, just as you are one in a billion to me."
Kiki turned around and looked at Carm, noticing for the first time that her shoulders were slumped and she had an unhappy look on her face
"Carm, my love, what's wrong?"
"Its nothing. I just know that after the next three days are up... you'll go back out there."
"Then join me. Stop sitting on the sidelines, come out and fight with me."
"I can it's just...."
"Carmilla! You said you were my protector."
Carm looked up, slightly shocked by the anger in her voice.
"Yes. I am."
"Then get used to the fact that I'm in space a lot, and I fight a lot. You want to protect me, get into space. Fight with me."
She softened and sat back next to her, pulling Carms head into her lap and stroking her hair.
"I know, it's not easy for you. But you'll do it for me, and you'll do it for Maeve."
"Now, we're almost there. Show me what you have for me."

They all stepped out of the track and the two girls unpacked and headed into the cabin while Carmilla and Kikia stood beside the lake. Steam was coming from the surface and when she put her hand in, Kiki found the water was warm.
"I wasn't expecting that."
"There is a volcanic cell under the ground, it heats the water. Not enough to boil it, and always enough to keep it from freezing. The whole area is like it. It's geologically safe, so there is no risk of an eruption. I found it many years ago when I was smuggling, I dont know if you can see the mark on the mountain third to the right of the highest peak, but I crashed a ship there once. Long time ago, when I was with Ziba. We created a spa for smugglers."
"A spa... for smugglers."
"Hey, smugglers are real people to. You think it's bad in the warzone, try ferrying Matari luxuries into Amarr space. That's tricky. Anyway... for the next three days, this is all ours. The cabin is stocked with food and drink, the lake is warm and best thing is that there are only four of us here. The girls have their own quarters, and we have the rest of it cabin. Come on, let me show you around."
Kikia pulled on her sleeve and looked up at her, her amber eyes welling up.
"My sweet?"
"Why do you do these things for me?"
Carmilla smiled and pulled Kiki into her arms.
"Because I love you."
"I love you to. No one has made me feel like this. It's uneasy at times to think how much you care for me."
Carmilla grinned and bodily picked her up again to squeels of delight from Kikia.
"Come on my love, time to show you just how much I love you!"

Friday, 13 April 2012

Clan of my Forefathers

Munroe Ballentyne, known to the other shamans of his tribe as 'Snake Heart' sat on the edge of the cliff and looked out across the icy steppes leading down to the edge of the frozen sea. All around a storm raged, winds blew the flaps of the tent, trying to enter and dash the contents over the edge. Up here, where the air was thin and the cold sapped the bones of even the strongest, Snake Heart stood wearing only his harness and a long green cloak.

Behind him stood those who would be tested, the potential new blood for the clan. Most of them were Minmatar, Sebiestors for the majority, but also a sprinkling of Brutor, and even an Ammatar. All would be tested, all would be brought before the ice serpent. The clan would grow, the spirits would be pleased and by that the Tribe would grow and become stronger. He turned and looked at those standing in a line, waiting for him. Most were enduring the cold well, but a few were suffering. And there, at the end, his own flesh and blood. His daughter, Carmilla. But for her there would be no favours. If the spirits willed it, she would join. If not... that didn't bare thinking about.

Turning back he looked once more out at the country before him. Mikramurka! It was good to be back, too much time spent away. Soon they would all be at the islands, back home.

Carmilla stood in the storm and watched her father. She had never seen him like this, before he had always seemed to be smaller, hidden. Alone except for her mother. Now, he seemed to be a tower, a pinacle of rock in a sea of torment. How many years had it been since that fateful day when he had bought her from the Serpentis. How many years since she had killed him to escape them, not realising who he was. So many years, so many trials, so much pain, so much heartache. And now, to be here with him, and yet so far away was... infuriating. But Kikia had suggested, urged, almost pushed her to find out more about her clan.

And who am I to ignore my Kikia, she thought with a smile.

"Children! We go now to the ancestral islands of our clan. The journey is perilous and not all of you will make it. As our forefathers were cast out and forced to walk these mountains so shall we. Their journey is now our journey. Their fate is now our fate. The spirits will guide each of us, those they will to join our clan will make it. Those who do not, will not survive. If you wish to turn back, you may at any time. There will be no shame, there will be other clans for you to join. As it was on our forefathers journey, there were those who prefered to turn their backs on us and rejoin those who cast us out. For those that make it, the Clan Ice Snake opens its arms to you. Now, who will lead the way?"

Carmilla listened to the words of her father, the Shaman of her clan. Much of what he said made little sense, but then her knowldge of the clans was minimal. Or the way things were

lead the way

done. What she was sure of, was that this was a clan she wanted to join, to be a part of.

lead the way

She paused and closed her eyes, something, someone was pushing her mind. Maeve?
"I will lead the way," she found her self saying, taking a step forward.
"Good!" her father said with a smile,"The way is treacherous. Are you scared?"

Yes, but the spirits are with me

"Yes.... but the spirits are with me."
"Then lead us sister! From your footsteps the echoes of our forefathers sing your praise. I will guard your back, as it was, so shall it be again."
Carmilla looked at the way he gestured. An ice slick path barely wide enough for one person lead away around the mountain, every so often she could see a small cairn of stones, a path to follow. Pulling her cloak around her she started off, the party following on.

As soon as she started on the path it was as if the entire mountain was against her. To her left a sheer drop of a thousand feet, on her right a snow and ice filled near vertical slope of the mountain. The path, if it could be called that, was carved into the rough side of the mountain. No hand holds that were reliable, no safety barriers, no protection. One false move and a thousand feet of screaming before an ignoble death. Cold buffetted her, snow lashed her, the ever present threat of failure and death following her, surrounding her like a mantle.

Feel the warmth of your love, we are with you

The words flowed through her mind like a torrent, cascading through her body. There was no snow or ice, only the feeling of warmth, like being submerged in a hot bath. Emboldened, she pushed on, knowing she was not alone.

Behind her Munroe watched his daughter. Even if he could not feel the aura that was now around her, he could sense the change in her as she walked. No longer was she stooping agaisnt the blizzard, but walking tall, carefully, as if this was a casual walk in the park. Behind him he heard a scream and he turned and looked down. One down he mused, there spirits were not with him. Looking at those behind he saw that more than half were walking as Carmilla was, the aura of their spirit guardians clear for one such as he to see. The others were holding on, by virtue of being tough and having those before and aft to look after them. Good qualities for those of the clan. But the trials would not be over for some time yet.

Even with the guidance of Maeve, Carmilla found the going hard. But every time she slipped she somehow managed to find a safe foot hold or hand hold. And as they reached the lowlands of the mountain she saw in the lengthening darkness lights ahead. Through tired eyes she tried to make it out and felt a heavy hand on her shoulder.
"Do not worry, the end is in sight," he whispered to her.
"Behold, here all those years ago our forefathers found a small hut with a light keeper. At the pinacle of rock that reaches out into the frozen ocean, it was here that they came at the end of their ordeal, only to find a futher one. But for awhile, they were safe, as we who have survived are now safe!"

The survivors crammed into the large shack that was perched on the edge of the cliff overlooking the frozen ocean. Lights inside and out, as well as heating soon brought out the cheer. As food was cooked over the open fire they started to sing. One of the brutor started, a song of hunters and when he finished they went around. Each of the seven sang a song until it came to Carmilla. They all looked on with keen eyes, even her father.

Sing of love

With a smile she started to sing one of the only songs she knew. A khanid love song she had sung for Ithiria years before while on a beach. The hut was silent as she sang, her song one that tugged at the soul, if not the heart, for few here had any love for the Khanid, but all respected the meaning of the song. Their souls yearned for the song, the spirits listened, as the survivors listened.

As the last note faded her father stood up a bottle in his hand and thrust it into the air.
"A great omen! For on the journey when they reached here there was time for love, and our clan was joined. A great joy was created as the lovers loved and those who did not sang of such love. The spirits are with us! Now drink! We toast our clan, we toast out tribe, we toast the Matari!"

The seven of them thrust their bottles skyward and roared a toast and started to drink. More bottles were opened, heady liquor was drunk and food eaten until one after the other they fell into a slumber.

Carmilla looked on at the sleeping forms. She was the last awake and tried to make herself comfortable, but something kept her awake. A gnawing, nagging suspicion that she had gained from living on the edge, with people hunting her. Looking around she picked up a woodsmans ax and opened the door and stepped out. The winds had died and the clouds were sporadic. Looking up she could see the stars, the constellations unknown to her. It was as she looked at them, wondering if there was any significance for her clan that she heard it. A twig somewhere snapping, the crunching of fresh snow slowly. She gripped the ax and listened. There, two more, three in total. Coming at her


She ducked as Maeves warning flashed through her. Energy filled her, anger, fear, the adrenaline rushing as something impacted the wall where she was. There, outlined against the dim glow on the horizon was a shape, someone, one of them, who had dared attack her! Dared to threaten her clan! Dared threaten her father, her shaman, her Kiki! She screamed and lept, Kiki's name on her lips as she brought the ax around.
A blade came up and caught the ax, but she was lungning past, the skills of numberless dirty fights coming to her, smashing her fist into the assailents face, pushing back against the tree, following up with a knee to the groin. A scream, male, as he went down. She picked up his sword and her ax in the other hand. Something flowed through her, the darkness shimmered away, and the dreamscape appeared. All around her the ash waste with the hut where her clan slept nearby, surrounded by the diaphamous shapes trying to break in. Shadows stalked towards her, blade of icy death in their hands. She stalked towards them, writhing serpentine and hissing. They dared to take her away from her Kikia, from her clan! She leapt with a howling scream of vengeance.

In the hut Munroe sat with his back to the wall. Again, he mused, she knew what was coming. Here was one who was intouch with the spirits themselves, and not just any, powerful spirits. The screams and sounds of battle coming from outside sounded as if there was more than just his daughter there, her oaths and cries at last starting to wake the others and one by one they picked up whatever weapons they could and went out. He chuckled to himself and stood up and went to the door and let loose a piercing whistle.

The foes they were fighting disengaged with practiced ease and backed away as the clan formed around Carmilla, holding her back until she slumped into the snow. As soon as she touched it, it melted, the heat from her body intense and they took to rolling her in the snow to cool her down.
"It was that first night," Her father shouted, " That they slept what they thought the sleep of the free. But people had been sent to bring them back, or failing that to kill them. Assassins came to kill them all, but one was on guard, one never let herself be swayed by the assumed safety. And she fougth them while her clan awoke, and though she died, we cherish her memory to this day, for she was the one who warned us, while the stars looked down as they do to this day. There, in the sky the constellation of Maeve Shineia, the Protector! The most powerful of the spirits who guard our clan. And what more pride could a father ask for than to see his own daughter take the roll of the Protector. Take this as a blessing!"
The clan standing around Carmilla slammed their fists into their chests and roared. They had fought as one, as a clan. And had won with the blessing of the spirits!

As the sun come up Carmilla awoke. Her head throbbed and her mouth felt dry. All around her there was grass and a roaring fire was set.
"So, the protector awakes. Here."
A mug of tea was thrust into her hand and she sat up.
"What happened? I remember someone was attacking us... then I blanked out."
"No, you fought with the spirit within you. It is a good sign."
She took the mug from her father and looked around.
"Who were they? That attacked us..."
"Warriors from our clan. You did well. Who is protecting you?"
"The daughter of my lover and my shaman."
"Kikia Truzhari? She has a daughter, I didn't know that.."
"She hasn't been born yet. And it's not the first time she's come to my aid."
"A shamans daughter still in the womb is helping you. By the blessed spirits."
He helped her to her feet and pointed out across the ice.
"There, those islands. That is where we are heading. As soon as you are aready we will break camp and head there."

The journey across the ice of the frozen sea around the coast was quick and before long they were all welcomed into a great carven arch at the bottom of one of the islands.
"Know now that the final challenges are within here. As soon as you cross the threshhold... you are Clan Ice Snake. But the final challenges will determine for how long you are. Step across the sacred archway. Leave behind who you were, and start your life anew, as members of our clan."
One by one they crossed the archway and entered the island until only Carmilla was the last.
"Daughter, why do you hesitate?"
"Come, take your place with us."
"There is much I have done, I wonder if I am worthy to join our clan. I do not want to besmirch it's name with my crimes and bloody deeds."
"Daughter, our clan has a bloody history of warfare and feuding. Secrets we have that cannot be shared except with our clan. What I know of you though, what your mother has told me, and your old Mistress, yes even her. I know that you are worthy of our clan. So do not let your Kikia down, leave behind your past life and start again as our clan sister."
He held our his hand and she took it and stepped into the archway to the cheering of the others.

For several days they learned what it meant to be clan Ice Snake. The ceremonies, the riturals, the tribal customs that were now their own. They learned the names of the stars over their islands, the names of the herbs that made their tribal concoctions to see the spirits. And they learned the secrets of the chamber of doors. One of the islands, a hollowed tower of rock held numerous levels, and on each level there were doors. Dozens of doors from simple wooden ones to high tech tritanium steel. Each room held a secret, but not all secrets were worthy ones. It was said the spirits guided each to their own room, and from that room they would learn a truth. They were each allowed only one door to try and open. And had three days to open it.

Carmilla sat before the door she had chosen. A heavy wooden door with an intricate lock of three bars of interwoven metals. For two days she had sat with her back to the guard rail and looked at the door, trying to puzzle out it's secrets and for two days she had gleaned nothing. But she would not give up.

As she sat there, the horn sounded for the assembly and she made her way there, with the others of her clan. They stood in a circle around the great alter of the clan and Munroe walked in followed by two men carring a large vase. Bowls of incense were burning, filling the air with a miasma of scents. Standing there, with the others of her clan she listened as her father began a ceremony, his words loud and booming and she fell in with the others in the chants as he spoke.
"And now... those who would be part of my clan, those I would call brother and sister. If you would dishonour the clan by your words, spek now"
"Our silence is our bond", they chanted.
"If you would dishonour the clan by your actions, leave now."
"Our place is our bond."
He gestured to the two men and they opened the jar. Reaching in they brought out three ice serpents, the famed and most deadly snake in the whole of the continent.
"If there be a falseness in your words, the symbol of our clan will strike."
As one, the circle raised their arms and started chanting.
"Test our honour and test our faith, the spirits will be done."

The snakes wound their way through the circle, all except one, the largest, which made it's way slowly towards Carmilla and after testing the air with this forked tongue, wrapped itself around her legs. The shaman smiled and just watched, though for Carmilla, it was terrifying. She closed her eyes and called out in her mind.
"Maeve... give me strength!"
The snake slowly unfurled itself and placed it's tail in its mouth, making the sign of her voluval, the oroubus, the eternal snake. All around gasped at such a sight and many blessings were offered. Eventually, the three snakes made their way back to the vase. Munroe looked on with a grin as she watched his daughter faint and slump to the floor. It matters not, she is now clan, she is now family. She is Ice Snake!

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

End of an Era

A little OOC blog entry for today.

Some of you have been following this blog since the beginning, when I posted my first blog entry titled Gurista Log #327-ish. Back then, Angelina was my main character and I was happy pirating in the Black Rabbits, which was quite a high point for me and a fun time. Carmilla, was my backup alt at the time.

But ever do the winds of fate blow and after while I found I was spending more time on Carmilla and less on Angelina. This does become apparent in the blog. All the way through there has been the interaction between the sisters, and their half brother Victor Ballentyne. Their highs, their lows and their adventures, whacky, tragic and always interesting.

What was probably not known well, apart from a few is that before this blog started being written I was invited to an RP room by a good friend of mine. That room was Red's District, and I have been there ever since. My good friend was and still is, Dame Death.

Now it has to be said that even though I had some spattering of RP in game, it didn't bloom until I found Red's, and from there what is now the Broken Piano became a favorite haunt for RP and meeting new and interesting people. The list of people who I came into contact with, some with good results, some with bad, and a few with tragic is endless. But, I did meet one person who has stayed with me a friend through and though, both in character, out of character, and in real life.

Ithiria Deritan.

It is said that like minded people cluster together, this is ever true of Eve. Carmilla came to Ithiria like a moth to a flame, a friendship started and has kept going to this day. Carmilla sparked controversy one day after they met by doing what has been held over her head for the last two and a half years. She willingly, IC, became Ithiria's slave. Only some of the RP that has happened from that event has been put into blogs because a lot has happened. And for the most part, Carmilla has RP'd the slave quite well. Certainly various people have said so, and others have said other things. But through thick and thin, up to a couple of months ago, they were inseperable, even to the point that they were married. And upon that marriage Carmilla, ever the craftswoman created a sword for her, to mark their bonding. A Wakizashi.

Now I say up to a couple of months ago, because RL has plans for us all that Eve simply cannot stand up to. And this came to a head when after a period of inactivity due to IRL, IC, Carmilla left the corp she had been in, Disciples of Night, and moved on to pastures more violent. It was the start of the end.

For those that have been there, Carmilla runs a Geisha House in game. And after an incident she made amends by creating a statue to Ithiria, the same general size and shape of the statue of Jesus in Rio. Hey, Carm was in love and needed to make amends. The original was destroyed by Nauticaa, and a copy was rebuilt in the grounds of the geisha house, and a second elsewhere.

It has to be said that when the Geisha House was moved from Seshala (khanid) to Siseide (minmatar) the statue was left behind and a new one was made of her new love. Kikia Truzhari.
Naturally, this went down like a lead balloon on one side, and caused a blush on the other.

A quick back peddle. Dame Death, lovely fellow. But has a tendancy to talk shite. I know this, he knows this, we all know this. So when he invited me to a room he could RP in it was inevitable that Carmilla, who was IC on the run from IThiria after loosing her, would come into contact with someone new. Kikia. Kiki literally rocked Carm's world, the RP was good and baring some unpleasentness are still friends IC/IRL.

IC, Ithiria took it hard. Threats were made and it was known that if Carm ever came back to her it woudl be to recollaring, enslavement and being sold on the block. So.. she kept away, mainly because of Kiki and the path she was now going down. From Slave to Freedom Fighter... ironic, it has been pointed out.

Which leads me to what I found today when I came back from work, albeit prewarned.

"At the base of the statue is a broken Wazikashi, Deritan/D'morenta markings, with blood on the lower half of the broken blade"

And a blog entry from Ithiria in which it was proclaimed... well lets just say she professed her love for Carm, but would kill her if she ever saw her again.

So, the long roller coaster ride that started so many years ago in an ooc room with a young nieve girl from White Rabbits and an charasmatic Khanid Holder has come to an end. I'm not happy about it, she's not happy about it. But the RP has gone this way and we both enjoy the RP, far too much to screw up other peoples to get back together. (I think....)

So this my friends is the end of an era. Carmilla, free now to do what she wishes. Ithiria, free now to do what she wishes. The broken sword will stay against the statue of Kiki, and Carmilla's chrome collar will ever reside in it's secret place.

The blogs will continue, but I just wanted you to know why, IC, OOC and IRL I am sad and why a little of the magic of Eve has now died forever in my heart.

Monday, 9 April 2012

Another Day

Carmilla and Whisper stood watching their two latest recruits. Both the girls were sebiestors, one petite, one taller, both with red hair, one long, one short. They were both standing in their kimono's, looking nervous and still getting used to the feel of the material, their makeup and being on the island.

"Girls. While you are here, you will listen to Whisper and do what she says just as if I told you to do it."
They both nodded.
"Your duties will be given to you by Whisper, and you will spend you time when you are not on duty with the other girls. Learn from them. They've been here a long time, the know the lay of the land so to speak."
The two girls looked at each other and then at Whisper.
"You remember what happened at the hotel. If you want a repeat of that....."

Whisper took the two girls and headed into the geisha house and came back twenty minutes later, find Carm sitting at the bar, drinking a bottle of quafe.
"How are they?"
"They'll be fine. The other girls are already fussing over them."
"Good. I want them to be happy while they are here."
She sighed and rubbed her face with a weary hand.
"Send the message to Ithiria. Tell her it's time we met face to face. I'm tired of running."
"Are you sure?"
"I have you girls, I have my Kiki... I'm strong enough now. More than strong. I feel alive."
She picked up her terminal and tapped away and brought up a file. TRA recruitment message was it's title. Signing the bottom she hit send.

As I said, my sweet, I'll not leave you again. Ever. She walked out of the house and down to the beach and sat on the pier, her feet in the water and watched the ocean. Shortly after whisper sat down beside her.
Another day, she mused, in paradise. She leant against Whispers shoulder and smiled
"Thank you hun. I dont know what I'd do without you."

Friday, 6 April 2012

Only Human

Of any of the people in the universe, I think I am the one who does not deserve second chances.

I was given one, and I threw it away. I walked out of my Kikia, my shaman, and my corp. I belived I was right in what I was doing. But that is because I was thinking only of myself. A clan, our clan, or corp is stronger than I realised. They judged me because of what I did, but then I found out they judged me more because of what I did after that.

Walking out on Kikia was the hardest thing I had ever done, and the sorrow in my soul will be a black mark I will have til the end of my days.

I thought I was protecting her, what I actually did was hurt her even more. I was lucky I guess that Maeve made me come back. Maeve, my loves unborn daughter who had touched me once before, and scared me to death on the second occasion making me not sleep for four days.

I had to do something, I had to come back to her. But how? How can I face those I love when I can't even face myself?

But I did. In my own... special way.

There are few buildings I cannot break into, my past as a cat burgler proved invalubale as I broke into the kenki and into our apartment. Security systems parted for me like air and I swept in with my bundle, hiding in shadows, taking the secret ways and eventually I found myself hidden in the bathroom with my present for her. My apology and my grief.

How she knew I was there I can only guess, but she swept aside the door and stood there with knife in her hand and a look on her face. I wondered then if I had not been mistaken, if coming back had been a bad idea. But... when she looked down at me she saw not just my eyes, but the eyes of four tiny kittens.

I knew that she would be lonely without me, and even if she cast me out, she would be lonely more. So I brought them, from one of the cats that lives in my house who had just had kittens. It seemed right, and when she held one, the look in her eyes changed. There was still that hard edge, but it was tempered by love and compassion.

Here is ever a lesson I will remember. Compassion.

We talked. I explained, and tried to at least. In the end she broke down in tears and I comforted her. And I relaised how alone I was with out her, and how difficult my life would have been without her and her judgement to guide me and I wept, I cried like a baby in her arms.

And there it would have ended, were it not for the forgiveness of my Kiki, and the love in her eyes. And that of Maeve. And as we lay in the bed, half asleep from my fatigue I heard her call the tribal council. And tell them that the location of my house arrest was changing to include the kenkii as well. Had I been able to cry any more I would have. Kiki was my guardian, the mysterious person who was to make sure I was on the right path. I may never know what it cost her to do that, but I know now, in my heart, that I will never leave her unless she wants me to.

My Kiki, my shaman, my love....

She forgave me... because I was only human.


It was a dream. It had to be. The sky was filled with grey cloud, moving faster than it should. On the horizon a towering wall of water was approaching, as i looked around it was a perfect circle, an impossible circular tidal wave coming at my island. Winds howled and screamed, buffeting me with their anger and fury.

I stood and watched.

There simply was no where to run to.


The words hung in the air, emblazoned with the fury of the righteous.

Why? She loves you....

Purple lightning flashed out of the stormfilled sky as the towering waves hung over the island. They waited, impossibly still, as if some great power held back the limitless power of the ocean.

You betrayed her! You left her!

The air spun and a figure coalesced out of the ether and stood before me, on the water. It was Maeve! Fear filled my heart, this was no dream I could walk away from. Here I was being confronted by the spirits, by the unborn daughter of a Shaman. Once before she had come to me to warn me of a threat facing her and I had reacted.... overreated. But I had done so because there are few things that I cannot understand, and this... is one of them.

She needs you. She needs you to be with her and you left her! I feel her sorrow in my bones, I feel her anger, I feel from her loneliness!

Inch by inch the waves came closer, I could smell the salt in the air, taste it. This was real, here it was real. Here, I could die because of my failure to protect her. I had nowhere to run to, which made it all the more pathetic when I did. I ran across the island, every quarter was hemmed in by the waves and behind me she walked slowly towards me.

Redeem yourself! Before I see you here again and I kill you for your betrayal!

The winds howled around us both but moved us not. As she pointed her hand at me and screamed... I woke up.


There are times when we do things that we believe are right, and just. We are so narrow minded in our beliefs that nothing anyone can say can change our minds.

We, are doing the right thing.

The problem with doing the right thing, is that there will always be those whose beliefs are diametrically opposed to yours.

That, is when it comes to the crunch. Do you keep doing the right thing? Or do you step up to those you hold dear and ask, is this the right thing?

Of course, the results when you do this are not always what you expect, and sometimes it has consequences that far outweigh your beliefs.

Like when I revealed to my CEO that I was being blackmailed because of my slave trading operation. I honestly had not thought of the consequences, because I honestly belived that they were better off in my care than in someone elses.

Sometimes a loved one has to step up and show you the right way. There is no more fierce hatred than a betrayed lover.

The blows came quick and fast. Fists backed by tribal fury hit again and again and again at the face of betrayal, and still she took them. The look of anger on her face, of my dear Kikia as she vented her anger I will never forget. Pain is nothing to me, humiliation I learned on my knees never to forget. But the look in her eyes. The pain, the anger, the hurt. That I will never forget.

It was there, lying broken and beaten in a pool of my own blood that I realised what I had done. Mere hours before the catastrophe had been sorted out, the slaves freed, over ninety million in damages set aside. As I watched through my one good eye, I could see the news vid, can still hear the sounds....

...and in other news a surprise releasing of over forty five thousand slaves by the Matari Militia has been achieved. Quite how they came to be brought to the stations involved is not known at this time, but those who were interviewed seemed to be well fed and looked after, each having been given a large sum of money. The corporation behind this has not been available for comment due to recent political upheaval, but we will bring you more on this as it breaks. In financial news, stocks in quafe dropped slightly....

I belived I was doing right, and yet it was obvious it was wrong. In my battered state I could see that now. No more the clarity I had when I was under the insidious curse, else maybe I'd have seen straight. But to hurt one of my own so badly by not seeing that I was hurting my people as a whole...

What I had become, would hurt her. Would hurt the corporation. Everything they had created. Everything they were would collapse. Because of me. And my crimes.

And so I wrote her a note, left it on the bed we once shared. Explained to her that I had to leave to protect them. I did not want a Shaman and a promising leader of our people to be slurred by the taint of a slaver. I could not, and would not let that happen. Again, perhaps I should have thought it out more.

When I limped into the offices of the Security Services on the station I let them know my crimes. I asked for no leniency. For my crimes were legendary when it was revealed that I was the source. I had expected brutality, hatred, but recieved only succour, medical treatment and a cell. Everyone was forbidden from talking to me while the tribal council was summoned. A monster it seems needs to be examined in detail by the right people.

So when I stood up before them and told them everything I was confused. I had taken neigh on fifty thousand people, bought them, traded for them, kept them in stations. They should have pinned me down and branded me slaver, for all to see. But they did not. They should have heaped punishment on me for my crimes, but they did not. When my sentence was handed down, for crimes against the Republic I expected more than what I got. House arrest? To be kept under the watchful eye of a guardian to be appointed by the court?

As I was led away, as the doors closed I could hear the arguments and protestations coming from those in there. It was just a show trial. A mockery of justice, I believed in my heart I was guilty of terrible crimes.... and then I wondered. My beliefs had caused this, maybe I just needed to think it through, was I wrong, was I right?

There are many worse placed to be placed under house arrest than my own. My Geisha House is a paradise, a cell with oceans and vistas, with protection and benefits. A guard platoon to stop me from leaving. And so I walked the beaches contemplating, swam the ocean thinking. As friend and foe stopped by to see me I came to a conclusion. I had hurt my Kikia more by running and leaving her than I would have by staying. As I sat on the edge of the pier, my pistol in my hand, a stranger beside me trying to talk me out of the suicide I had planned. I mean... without her... what was the point? She who had given me so much in so short a time.

I'm sure the guards will not get into trouble, I mean there is no way they could have kept me from leaving without a small fleet in orbit. I went through them like a knife through butter, and left my girls to care for them. I had one place to go, one person to see. But how to get there, and what to do when I did.