Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Escaping the Fact

Carmilla sat on the edge of the cliff and looked out over the ocean before her. Beneath her was a great slab of marble, worn down in places by the passage of time. In the local dialect, it was called the Leap of Faith. Strange that not too far distant was another smaller pillar of rock, which the locals called Faith.

Before her the dark clouds blanked out the moon mostly and only a little light filtered through to shine across the dark waters. Far below she could hear the water crashing against the rocks. The storm was coming.

How easy to just take a step forward, but then that would be escaping the fact. Even down there, in the dark cold depths of the ocean she would still find her.
"And she would stand before me, with that look in her eyes, scowling at me for daring to die without her permission."
She looked up at the clouds as the storm became more apparent, her hair flailing around behind her and she howled defiance at the very gods. At the small shrine behind her the candles guttered and went out, the scents of incense dashed away with the fury of the storm that was approaching. And still she screamed. Cursing with all her breath and falling to her knees sobbing.

As the rain lashed down, soaking her in moments hands came out of nowhere and pulled her back into the lee of the overhang. The wind followed them in but the rain stayed away. In the corner a fire was started and practiced hands removed her suit and wrapped her in a large blanket. She looked up into the kindly face of Winter, who as ever was smiling warmly at her.
"How did she know, Winter? How could she have known."
"Her ways are mysterious, but you should know the bond between you two is strong."
"But how? Seeing Wuadias there chilled me to the bone, there was no reason for her to be there."
"And there was for you? You have tried to find yourself before and came back with a tattoo and a few more scars."
"And a father. Don't forget that."
"Then what do you hope to find this time?"
"Acceptance... redemption... retribution... one way or another my path leads me back to Minmatar space. The shamans I have spoken to have revealed much. Even Kiki...."
She bit back something and looked at Winter.
"I can't escape her on my own. Her pull is too powerful. I need help. But when I go looking for help, it isnt' there."
"Aaaah, but then isn't that also one way of looking at it? Because you want it so badly you are looking for it... in all the wrong places.... You demand the help, but it's not forthcoming. Maybe because you are demanding it in the wrong way?"

Carm looked into the fire and sat down against the back of the wall and watched the storm outside. As forks of lightning appeared the thunder rolled over them. A storm in all it's glory was brewing, coming closer with the fury of a lover spurned. And here she was, an outcast, an exile. Revered by those who wished to become her, hated by those who could never admit to wanting her place. Hunted by those who wished to see her fall, supported by those who wished to save her soul. There are some things, she mused, I just can't escape from.

Here I sit, nearly naked wrapped in a blanket while my closest companion dries my clothes next to a fire in a shrine I found on an island in the middle of an ocean a hundred miles from the nearest landmass. What pilgrims came here to pray to the statue that is here. How many of their bones lie mouldering at the bottom of the ocean, picked clean by the scavenger fish. How many more wore down the stairs that were cut into the living rock of this island. Here, in the middle of a great grandmother of a storm I sit. Here, where the faithful came in their droves to worship. Perhaps here I will be reborn, taking the wisdom of my good and faithful friend and becoming that which I am meant to be.

Or maybe I really am just escaping the fact.

That once I told her as I stood before her without chains or collar or restraints or brands, that there are chains which bind us all that are in our minds, and no power in this universe can break it. Although many will try.

Slowly she stood up and removed the rest of her clothing and stood before the fire. Whisper looked at her and nodded, understanding and opened a pocket pulling out a bracelet. The chrome band that slipped around her wrist reminded her immediately of her collar, light years away in her asteroidal retreat. Touching a spot on the underside she saw it was fully charged and working as expected.

There is no escaping the fact she mused, that you occasionally have to weather the storm. And, if you are strong enough, you can come out the other side with insight. But first, you have to fight the storm and that which would kill you. She started to run, building up speed until she stood on the slab known as leap of faith and leapt, diving into the white topped waves and under the blackness of the midnight ocean.

No comments:

Post a Comment