Ramblings of a Submissive

Carmilla sat on her chair in the lounge of the Autumn Breeze and picked up her datatablet. In an hour or so the staff meeting was due to start, and with luck Miz would come as well. An important day for the girls. She had no illusions that they would all agree to the change, but they knew how much she loved her Mistress, and that was enough for them.



Personal Log - The Hour of understanding, the day of rambling

Hour of understanding? And an hour until my Mistress shows. Prophetic to say the least. But aah, my Mistress. She knows me. Knows me better than I know myself. I dont know why I am still surprised at this?

I suppose it is true to say that the day when she held me in her arms on that bed I became hers. After all that she put me through, all that she'd done to me, the pain, the torment, the torture. Oh, Mizhara, Mizhara Mizhara, did you know then that you had my heart? Have you been waiting all these months for the time when I would come back to you?

Time and time again I had hurt you, lied to you, brought misery not just to you, but to others. Was I that scared of the feelings I had, that I would one day kneel before you? My love for Ithiria was strong, and the turmoil in my heart was a war without end.

And yet here I am now, your submissive. Yours totally, just yours. Ithiria has relinquished her claim on me, and I am sad, for I have lost something that I will never regain, and happy as I have my Miz. Ithiria, my wife, my love, my khanid pricess. She will never again call me hers, never to dominate me again... and never again will I call myself her slave.

In truth I lost her a long time ago, the day I threw off my collar and slapped her. Such abuse, betrayal and insolence. Slaves dont do that. But it wasn't until she gave my contract away to Hinare that I realised it.

But then, I guess I was never much of a slave. Too much free will and even though Ithiria was always there with me, not enough was done to pacify me. I guess she didn't need it, as I was her strong right arm... when I wasn't trying to break it. And when I told her I was broken.... I wasn't really lying to her... I just wasn't truthful to her about who had broken me.

Right now I am happy with my Mistress. Obedient, devoted, and yes, still a little afraid of her. She has but to life her finger and I jump to obey her. I will dedicate myself to making her happy, to looking after her needs. And every time I confess to her, I will become a better person. Every time she teaches me, shows me the error of my ways I become stronger. I become more devoted. I become the submissive she wants and needs. One day, she will not even need to lift her finger, I will just know.

I just hope Ithiria knows that I will never stop loving her. In essence she was my first love. You never forget your first love. And I have a statue in my geisha house, sorry, my Mistresses Geisha house that will always remind me.

And yes, I guess I have been rambling, as the hour has passed... and my Mistress approaches. The geisha can already see my smile. They have only been this proud of me once before, when they met Ithiria. Now they will meet my Miz, my Mistress. Dare I say it, my love.

Addendum

"We always hurt the ones we love, the ones we shouldn't hurt at all.
We always pluck the sweetest rose, and crush it till the petals fall."
Many years ago, back before Gallicia, when things were easy and slavery was all I knew I heard this rhyme from an old grandmother who was on the holdings. For the first time in a long time, it has come back to me, and I understand the sad look in her eyes when she used to sing it.

A Gift for a Mistress

She worked tirelessly. The blueprint copies that were displayed upon the great screens showed the intricate workings of the Rifter class frigate. She looked upon the plans, turning them around, selecting components and listing schematic specifications, tolerances and potential. Already she had used up a pile of datacores, attempting to glean the knowledge from them to make this ship something better. Supercomputers churned as they access the data in the datacores, and again, the used the knowledge they gained to build a better Rifter.

She knew well the specifications of the Wolf, afterall she flew them. Knew how they fought. But to convert what she knew into hard reality, was a difficult task at times. Boosts to the engine power, the power grid, the ships core. The external modification, gun racks, ammunition bunkers, extra armour plating, replace the shield emitters with upgraded.....

Several hours later she stepped back and looked at what she had created. She processed the modifications and waited. It would take an hour or so to get the completed blueprint inked and delivered.

When it was complete she held the blueprint in her hand. This was a Wolf, her first that she had invented. And would be the first she had constructed. But this one was new, had a meaning that she couldn't escape. This... was going to her Mistress. A Wolf, for the real hunter.

No one knew what she had discovered through tireless searches and interrogations. And none would, those who had the pieces of the puzzle had died under her hands. She had, hidden away where none could find it, the little box which held all her secrets. Information on Mizhara, information on Ithiria, on Bill, on Korinne, on half a dozen others who meant something to her. But the information on Miz, was gold dust. It held the date she wanted, her birthday. And such timing, almost as if it was planned by some higher power.

She would give herself to her Mistress at the estate, all tied up just how she liked it, awaiting her Mistresses pleasure. And this ship, built as much by her own hand as she could, delivered to her. Two birthday presents, on a day she didn't know was her birthday. Carm had heard her say as much before, that she didn't know the day. That much of the information was lost on the holdings she was a slave on.

But for every piece of information that is lost, there are three sources that have it hidden away. You just need to know where to look.... and how to. Its just sometimes.... some information is best left undiscovered.

Perfection is attainable

Carmilla walked around her quarters wrapped in a silken night gown and stopped at the drinks table. She poured herself a large glass of gallentey absinthe and sipping it ruffled the ears of the black cat that was sleeping on her chair. It awoke, yawned at her and batted at her hand with it's paws.
"Tankerin, you rogue, you sleep all day."
The cat looked at her and purred at her ministrations. She looked around for the other cat and found her curled up in Kaelali's lap. Her sister had slept here after their night together. One day less on their punishment. Aetes it seemed was content, the white cat almost invisible against her sisters white kimono.

Picking up the cat and her glass she sat cross legged on the bed, the cat in her lap and reached over and picked up her datatablet. For a moment she selected a music channel and listened to the sounds that came out, lying back on her bed, her eyes closing softly as she thought back on the events that have just gone past...

Personal Log - The hour of weeping, the day of rebirth.

This is what I get when I use an archaic form of horoscope for working out the hour and the day. That being said, it often gets it right. I have been weeping, feeling the burn of failure has that effect on me. But I also do feel reborn.

I failed my Mistress today.We had dinner together, the four of us. Or should I say our Mistresses ate dinner, Kael and I became the chairs. A most unusual experience, and one I would actually like to repeat. Being bound that tightly, unable to move, I have not experienced anything like it. That and being unable to stop my Mistress from doing what she wanted to my bound form. Oh, but I forgot, she got me a gift! The most wonderful boots which I wore and am still wearing! It's like she knows what I need and want. Scary at times......

But I digress.... during the meal naturally she was stimulating me. And forbid me from any release. Well, in my excited state... unfortunately I failed and to her dissapointment, and my everlasting shame I came. I find it most amazing the way I react to her. When I was Ithi's slave and I failed... I never felt the amount of shame I felt last night. For the rest of the evening I kept my head, and I was determined not to let her down again. And I succeeded, but the damage had already been done. And when they both told me my punishment and what I would be getting, or more to the point what I wouldn't be getting I broke down in tears.

Aaah Kael, my sister, you stand with me and will take my punishment with me. One day I will be like you, so perfect and devoted. I felt envy before when I saw you behind Ithiria, wishing it was me. But now I realise that you were more perfect as a submissive than I was as a slave. Your devotion and dedication to Ithiria surpassed what I was, by a magnitude! How small I felt then. But here you are, with me, sisters. And I love you as a sister, you might not be of my flesh but you are of my soul. And one day I will walk behind Mizhara, as you walk behind Ithiria. At least... that is what I want. But then... it's no longer about what I want, it's about them.

Carmilla put down her datatablet and sipped her drink, feeling the alcohol buzz through her system and placed it down on the table, reaching over and disturbing Tankerin who pounced off her lap and padded into the next room. Looking over she saw her sister was still asleep and smiled. There, is perfection. At least to me. I want that. Sighing she picked up the datatablet again.

Ithiria had an incident later that evening. A meeting with Ari, which could have gone better. Luckily she didn't go through with her threat, but I have been watching her for so long, I know when she is going to do something rash. I recognised the signs and I almost acted. Standing on the other side of her door, watching her through the security system with her hands reaching for her sword. It would have taken but a moment to pick the lock and be in there rescuing her from herself. Such presumtion.

Ever since I became a slave or a submissive I have had the need within me to protect those I am with. I feel it with Mizhara, I have definately felt it with Ithiria. Both of whom I have seen dead, their lives taken by their own hands. I have always seen this as a failure. A failure that has haunted me, had me waking up at night in a cold sweat, occasionally screaming. But I talked about this with my Mistress, as she asked me the events and I told her. And I related to her why I felt a failure in this regard.

But she showed me the error of my thinking. One more way she is teaching me. I didnt' fail to save them both. They succeeded in doing what they had to do. When she talks to me it's like lights are coming on behind my eyes and I see the truth of things. Such presumtion, such nievity.

When I am with her... I can only wonder at what she is going to tell me about myself. What she is going to teach me. So many layers are being stripped away from me, so many more to go. But I need this, I want this. What will I become when she has torn me down and rebuilt me? I know what I want to be, just like Kael my sister.

I will be perfect for my Mistress. Perfection is attainable. This will be my mantra. I have something to live for now, and I have a life where I have two Mistresses to dote upon, and a Sister who will be beside me. And I know if I told her I was going to walk to hell and back, she would be holding my hand.

Carmillla placed her datatabet down and wiped her face with her hand. The clock on the wall was indicating what time it was and it was time to leave soon. She had ships to produce and jobs to manage. With Ithiria going on holiday things needed to be done. Luckily most of it could be done without her, but she was still required for some jobs, her skills in demand. Not being there for her Mistress when she awoke was going to be hard. One of the things she loved was being there for her Mistress. Ithiria before and now Mizhara. But today, she had to be creative. With a smile she watched tankerin up at the table drinking from her glass. Such a rogue, she thought. Cats have all the fun.

Longing

Personal Log - The Hour of Swiftness, the Day of Longing

I have never been so tired, or so sore. This is the second time my Mistress has put me through my paces. And what a trial. I dont think I have ever had so many men at one time. But I did, hour after hour. Until she had to depart on some urgent business. I pleaded to be allowed to come with her, but I was in no state to go. I was taken to my quarters, bathed and cleaned and had a little sleep.

And the day had started out so normally. I had planned dinner with Hinare to try and sort his problems out, but ended up getting distracted again. My earlier meeting with Syn had brought me a new friend, one who has shared a similar story to mine, though with a twist I didn't see coming. I've given her an inviation to the Geisha House, along with her jade, the mysterious green eyed beauty who has taken her heart.

But Hinare.... I dont know what I am going to do with him. I'm torn between my necessary service to my Mistress, and sorting him out. I still believe I have something to do with Wolfbane coming to the surface, and I need to talk to him. But... I have my duties. And truth be told, since I dedicated myself to Mizhara and Ithiria, even though Ithi has been away on alliance business I can't think of much else... than serving Mizhara. My Mistress.

I know if just a few short weeks ago someone had said I would have been kneeling behind her sorting out her hair and styling it while she ate, laughing and joking and as happy as I've ever been... I would have called them a liar. But here I am, her submissive, her servant, her Geisha.

Willingly....

We have put our past behind us and are starting afresh. But I still am haunted by my failures before and I push myself to excel, to show her I am worthy of her love and respect, and I know I am as I see it in her face and bearing. But I can do better, I must do better. For Miz... for Ithi... and for myself.

I am no longer a slave to my emotions, for that I can thank Hinare for distracting me enough to remind Ithiria of what happened before with Bill. I know what I want now, and I have it. As my sister Kael said last night, I am doubly blessed as I have both Ithiria and Mizhara. And it's true, I do. I still feel jealousy and envy, but I know in time that my place is behind Mizhara, three steps behind and just to the left, as Kaels is behind Ithiria.

And... I am no longer a slave. I still wake up in the morning and feel around my throat. All I find is the necklace I was given when I dedicated myself to my Mistresses. Sometimes... when I wake from a sleep from being tired and working so hard I forget myself and the panic sets in, and the collar is there around my neck strangling me while I hear music and mocking laughter. Then I wake from my nightmare.

Oh I don't know, dear diary, what the future will bring me. But I know what I want from it. And I go to meet her now. With luck I will arrive before she awakes and I can be there for her, in my place, on my knees before my Mistress, waiting for her to but raise a finger.

Addendum...

I have never talked much about my sister Victoria. For long ago I lost her, and I regret that loss with all my heart, as Angelina has done. For even though she still flys the space lanes, the person she once was is gone, now she even looks differently. There is no pain than seeing someone you love not recognise you, from ten feet away looking straight at you.

Kaelali, she is now my sister. We both have Mistresses we love and serve, we both know our place in the world, though we come from different stock. We even have a past that has brought us into conflict before, when she was a Holder, and I was rescuing slaves. But that was several lifetimes ago. Kaelali, my sister, I will always be there for you.

Trials after Tribal

Sakura Imoru paced up and down outside the courtroom of the Republic Justice Department in Arlulf. Already she had bitten all her nails to the quick. A day after her report was in about the blackmailing and this happened. Pulled off assignment, placed under close supervision and ordered to attend this hearing. And for what? They didn't say. Damn Carmillla! Damn Ithiria! Damn herself for being so trusting.

Her hand reached for the inside of her jacket pocket to get a stim tab and found none. Cursing she patted her pockets, only vaguely aware of the clicking of heels coming towards her. From her left a pack of stims was extended, an amarr brand, gold leaf. She took one and chewed it, feeling the stimulant fill her briefly before turning around and coughing loudly.
"Carmilla? What the hell are you doing here? By right I should haul your ass in!"
Carmilla just smiled and put the pack back into her small bag. Adjusting her jacket she opened a small glasses case and took off the black tinted round glasses she was wearing and put them away.
"Sakura, darling, you must stop overreacting. And you have some dust on your uniform."
Taking hold of the lapel she fiddled with it and brushed the dust away.
"Now stop worrying Sakura....."
"Stop worrying? I've been hauled out of the field, told to come here and no one has told me why...."
"Would you like to know?"
".... I've seen all my superiors go through the door as well as a.... what?"
She looked at Carmilla with a mixture of shock and anger. She's doing it again, she though, be careful.
"It's a promotion hearing. Thought you would have recognised it."
"Oh...."
Carmilla giggled. Sakura did not.

The usher of the court opened the door and shouted out Sakura's name. She looked at Carm who just patted her cheek.
"Go on, you'll be fine."
Sakura walked into the courtroom, noticing it was mostly empty. At the far end, on the large raised dias sat the five officials, all her superiors. Three Captains, a General and an Admiral. Her heart raced as she took her place on the small stand before them.
"State your name and rank for the board."
"Sakura Imoru. Enforcer third grade. RJD."
The General looked over the papers infront of him and opened a file. Her heart jumped as she recognised the silver banding on the edge, a file from Internal Affairs. It was passed to the Admiral and back.
"Miss Imoru. We received a rather... disturbing report from you. A report that sent certain alarm bells ringing. Your name has been mentioned in the halls of this building. And for most that is not a good thing."
Bite the bullet, she thought, they are being too cryptic. Behind her she heard the door open and someone walk in.
"The report I filed was all in order. If there was any confusion with what happened I would have thought that my immediate superior would have informed me."
One of the captains gave a dry chuckle and leaned foward. He was wearing the badge of Internal Affairs and a his face was well known. The Axeman.
"Miss Imoru. Could you please relate to us the events that caused you to be blackmailed by the wanted criminal and supporter of the Amarr Empire, the woman known as Carmilla D'Morenta?"
Before she could stop herself she cursed and shouted out, slamming her fist onto the podium before her.
"Goddam it Carmilla!"
The Axeman smiled.
"So you do know her. Please tell us what happened.. in your own words please."
They knew... they knew everything. My career, lost, all I hoped to achieve gone because of that bloody woman.
"I met her in a bar. She....."
"Please be specific."
"Okay, we met in the Tribal Sins club...."

Sakura sat back in the chair watching the dancers. The lights were flashing wildly and the dancers were gyrating to some tune all the rage amonst the younger minmatar. She crossed her legs, her boots on the small stage that some of the dancers used to entertain guests, but none were coming close. All knew she was RJD and kept away. As if she would be interested in such small fry. Knocking back her drink she watched as one of the dancers, a tall sebiestor in an almost transparent dress danced her way towards her and slipped onto the small stage, her body writhing to the music. Sak couldn't help but run her eyes up and down the body, her curves illuminated by the cunningly placed spotlights. She couldn't help but recognise the person as she slipped off the stage and into her lap.

"Hey law-babe.... wanna buy me a drink?"
"Sure, why not? What would you like?"
Carmilla writhed and looked at her with a lascivious smile.
"Is that a trick question.....
"Depends on the answer, doesn't it?"
The woman on her lap traced her long nail down the side of her neck and along the collar. Taking Sakura drink she offered it to her and as she drank, kissed her to Sakura's amazement.
"Biting me one day, kissing me the next?"
Carmilla laughed and straddled Sakuras lap, her long dress bunching aroudn her waist and running her fingers through Sakura's hair, bringing her closer to her.


"So you are saying you had actual physical contact with her?"
"We kissed. Yes."
"What else did you do, officer?"
"I handcuffed her and we made our way to another venue."
"Did you arrest her?"
"No."
"Did you caution her?"
"No."
"Officer Imoru. Are you aware that what you did could be construed as kidnapping?"
Sakura just looked at them dumbfounded and shook her head.
"It was not kidnapping, it was voluntary. And anyway, she took me there."
She cursed silently as she realised what she had just said.
"She... took.. me... there. So you, an officer of the law was being taken aroud by a known criminal. This is outrageous!"
"I didn't know she was a wanted criminal. I'd never had cause to believe such in all our dealings."
"Yes, I noticed that. We'll get to that later... continue."
"We decided to change venues. A bar in the borderlands by the name of the Spaced Mongoose. From what I remember it was mainly used at one point by Guristas smugglers."
"And this did not worry you? Didn't you think it could have been a trap? It has been noted you didn't call for backup as is the norm for low security systems."
"I had no reason to believe there was any threat to my safety. I was...."
"Yes?"
"I trusted her."
"Yes.... we'll come back to that."

The main lounge of the Spaced Mongoose bar was not too impressive. A fire had roared through the facility, ripping it's heart out and turning the once popular bar into a ghost town. Restoration work was going on, but it was slow work. The back rooms it seemed, were not touched by the fire and one room in particular was selected by her, a bedroom of much oppulence.

"She took you to a bedroom?"
"Yes...."
"And what did you do?"
"I questioned her about her confessions that she had."
"And the result?"
"Not what I expected...."
"Elaborate."
Sakura sighed.
"She confessed her feelings for me."
"I see. And you did?"
"I.... we..... made love."
"And what happened after your carnal affair?"
"I fail to see what this has to do...."
The general banged his gavel and looked down at her. His rows of medals jingled and his frown turned his jovial face into a scarred nightmare.
"You will answer all questions we put to you. That is an order."
Sakura whispered under her breath, goddam you Carmilla.
"She hit me with a stun pistol. And I blacked out."
"Where did she get the pistol from?"
"It was in her bag."
"And you didn't disarm her?"
"I didn't recongise it for what it was. And after she let her self out of her handcuffs I was too.. distracted to notice."
"I'm sorry, you must have missed something. How did she get out of her handcuffs?"
"she picked the lock."
"Miss Imoru, I must say I don't believe some of your story. You see we have obtained a copy of the security feed for that night. And as you will see, I don't see much love. Plenty of lust and debauchery certainly."
As Sakura watched in horror the screens in the court room showed a large portion of the time she spent with Carmilla, showing them all in graphic detail what she did to Carmilla, and what Carmilla did to her in return.
"I must protest! What right do you have to show this?"
"You will be quiet!"
"I will not! I demand to know what is going on here!"
"We are trying to determine if a member of the RJD has been corrupted by an agent of the Amarr Empire."
She looked at the screen and watched as she lay on the bed and Carmilla rumaged in her bag and shot her with the stun gun, laying her down and placing the necklace around her neck. If anything, she thought, that proved she didn't steal it. Then she noticed that Carmilla wrote on the mirror, and then looked up at the camera, smilling.

Sakura sat back, stunned. Not only that the security footage existed and was being played, but also that her superiors had watched her at her most intimate. She watched as on the screen she awoke and cursed, dressed and departed, nearly 30 minutes after the stun shot.
"And what happened then?"
"I went looking for her, and found her. She blackmailed me with the pictures and the theft of the necklace and statue that was in the photo. It was enough evidence to have me...."
"Put on trial?"
"Yes. She made me visit her former Mistress at the time, an Ithiria Deritan..."
She noticed one of the captains nod to someone behind her and turn to his colleagues.
"Uh, yes. I think we can move on from here. That name will be struck from the records. No mention of that person is to be made. Continue."
"What?"
"Continue. after the meeting what did you do?"
"Why can't I mention Ithirias name?"
"It's a matter of state security. And you are not cleared for the information."
"What do you mean? I was there! She...."
"One more word and you will be held in contempt of court and bound over for thirty days in jail and reprimanded."
Sakura frowned, a cover up as well. What the hell was going on. Something bad was going to happen to her, she knew it.
"A few hours later.... Carmilla sent me a message asking me to meet her at her POS. I... made a detour by the station house and went to meet her."
"Why the detour?"
"I needed to pick up my weapons. When I got there... I shot her."
"And nearly killed her according to this report. The weapon you used was modified illegally and gave her a heart attack which were it not for the station medical facilities, would have killed her."
"Yes, that is true but..."
"But nothing."
"She blackmailed me! Threatened my life, my freedom and my career!"
"Far to late to get judgemental. You should have arrested her when you had the chance."
Sakura threw her arms up into the air in despair.
"Now, tell us about this datacrystal."
"Carmilla gave it to me by way of an apology. She said it may be useful to me. So I used the information on it to closed down a smuggling and theft ring in the heimatar region that had been used in seventeen high profile cases."
"Indeed you did. Officer Imoru. Your conduct over this affair has been downright atrocious! Consorting with enemy agents, making deals with Holders of the Empire, attempted murder of a capsuleer. These are very serious charges."
The captain looked behind her again and conversed with his colleagues and they nodded.
"I think it is best for the RJD as a whole if you are removed from your post. The RJD does not need such people as you. You have disgraced the...."
She listened on auto as the general spoke, despite the captains rebutal. A hand tapped her on th shoulder and slipped a piece of paper into her hand. She looked at it and frowned. It read, look under your lapel. Feeling with her fingers she found a small pin, of a stylised cloud blowing.
"Officer Imoru are you listening? And what is that?"
She looked up and held the pin out, the camera that was showing her face on the monitor zoomed in on the pin. The look on the generals face was vivid and unsettling. He went from a fury to almost white as a sheet, as did the Admiral. Behind her a voice whispered in her ear.
"You might like this next bit."

Sakura watched in mouting horror as Carmilla walked past her, taking the pin from her hand and approaching the General. Even with her high heels the officers towered over her. Whispering back and forth was fast and sharp, breaths were taken swiftly and Carmilla was clearly arguring with all five of the officers. Eventually she smiled, nodded to them and walked behind Sakura.
"Carmilla, what have you done? Are you trying to get me fired?"
The general cleared his throat and looked down at them.
"Sakura Imoru. In light of testimony from Miss D'Morenta we have decided to close this matter forthwith. And because of your sterling work in closing down the smugglers we are prepared to recognise this with a promotion to Enforcer first grade."
"I'm getting promoted?"
He slammed his gavel on the desk and they filed out. Sakura turned to Carmilla.
"What just happened? How do you know those people? What's going on?"
Carmilla slipped her arm into Sakuras and walked out the door.
"General Havers. Prefers two geisha at a time, sometimes three. Likes a birch lash. Admiral Saleni. Quite rough with my girls at times, though if his wife found out he would be in for the high jump."
"They are...."
"Customers. Yes. Fancy a drink? I know a good club which does a decent zydrine wine."
"Carmilla... if you think I'm going anywhere with you where there is....."
Carmilla just giggled and dragged the protesting woman with her.
"Come on, we have to celebrate your promotion.... Tribal Sins is open I belive."

Tranquil Winter

There is a dance that is performed by the Khanid. An ancient dance that heralds the coming of Winter and hints of the spring to come as winter ends. It is known simply as the Dance of the Tranquil Winter, and is one of the most demanding dances.

To perform properly the dancer needs to have exquisite timing, absolute muscle control, and flawless perfection. Danced in conjunction with the music, and with the snapping and positioning of fans, there are few who have mastered the dance.

There are those who use the dance as a rite of passage, when dedicating themselves to a greater cause than their own.

Carmilla danced. Not just for herself, but for Ithiria. And for Mizhara. She had danced this before, for Ithiria, when she had rededicated herself. Each movement perfection, her timing flawless, making it looks so simple. She had danced this for Ithiria twice before, and now she danced again, perhaps the most important of her life. Certainly the one she would remember for years to come.

Ithiria had recognised it as soon as she took the fans from the wall, and when she had finished dancing she had asked the question she had hoped for. And she had replied, truthfully.

Ithiria sitting next to her Wife, watching the woman who had lost so much dancing before her and her wife. Watching her hold the final position she spoke softly.
"Carmila twitch the right fan if this is happiness and things are never forgotten, left fan if trying to dedicate yourself to me and Miz."
She watched Carm in the final pose, the one known as winters end, both fans extended upwards, twitch both fans, then staying perfectly still. They both looked at each other.
"Do you know what you are doing?"
"Yes"
"And is your heart true, child?"
"Yes"
"You have said this before. To both of us."
"But never.... to you both... together..."

And so they had agreed, with Ithiria fastening a necklace around Carmilla's neck, a sign of her submission to them both. Not one more than the other, both equally. And still, all the time holding the pose, the Winters End, strain palpable, but never changing her expression, or showing any signs of weariness. That would be an instant failure for her, and show them both she was not strong enough.

Little more than a whisper, Ithiria, her Mistress, said a single word. 'Begin'. And in a fluid movement she returned to the starting pose and began to dance again, the most perfect dance she could, showing her dedication and ability, the obedience and perfection, and even with the strain, performing it flawlessly. Performing for her Mistresses.

Winters end, a new year beckons, a new chapter. Inwardly, so as not to spoil her mask, Carmilla smiled with happiness.

Aftermath

Carmilla walked amongst the dunes of the beach on the far side of the island. Here the wind blew off the ocean, the tall grasses bending, waving to her. From where she sat she could see the smaller islands dotted in the distance, here it was tranquil, people knew not to come here when she was here.

Adjusting her dress she sat down and pulled out her datatablet and pulled out a pistol, laying the pistol in her lap while she began typing on the datatablet.

Personal Log - The hour of scampering, the day of mourning

An approprite day, day of mourning. For I am in mourning for my lost Ithiria. I have no one to blame but myself, I had thought I had learnt most lessons.... but some will ever escape me.

I saw Mizhara yesterday. When I saw her, I froze. Only Hinare kept me in a calm state of mind, or god knows I might have fallen to my knees I felt that weak. She looks good, looks as she used to look, better than the last time I was with her at least.

It was as if I was a child again, in her presence. What must I have looked like to her? A scared helpless child holding on desperatly to her man who looked around with indifference, not knowing the past. And she did call me child again, as she used to. Hinare, Hinare my love, you don't know what the past was like for me, if you did you would never have let me come here.

I lost so much but gained to little, at least I thought. Seeing Kael walking where I should have been broke my heart. But having Ithiria declare she would only have one wife, and that wife wasn't me... shattered my soul. I was expecting most of what happened, but not that. Never that. I surprised myself all I utterd was a sob, even though all heard it. Were it not for Hinare, my angel, my pillar... I might not have left the Masquerade.

However.... I spoke at length with her, I appologised, I never thought I would have gotten the chance. It is difficult to admit you were wrong, pride... one of the sins I am guilty of. I think she was surprised at my emotions for Hinare. Unfortunately he has more problems than I do. She was also surprised that my Master, for it is what we was, gave me my slave contract to do with as I wanted. Were it not for the sights I saw today I would have kept it and given it back to Ithiria, as Hinare should have done when it was given to him, but I can't fault him, my love.

Maybe this is what Ithiria had in mind all this time. After all, if you love someone that much you will do anything to make them happy... even if it hurts themself. I should know, I've been in this position enough times. But Ithiria has what she wants. Miz has what she wants. Esna.... well, Esna will always be Esna. Regardless... I still think somehow I could have done more.

And anyway, Miz is now her wife and I should be happy for them both. I guess i am. For I have my Hinare.

I trusted Ithiria before with my life, I can not trust her less now. If this is the path she has chosen for me, I owe it to her to walk that path. Who knows where I will be in a month or two.

I have plans now. Things to do. People to see. Places to go.



Tears to shed.....


Addendum.....

I am free. I just returned from Khanid, my slave contract has been revoked. This is not like before.... now I truly am free. I looked at my record on file with the Khanid. I'm still considered a criminal, and they warned me that without Holder Deritans protection if I return to Khanid space I will be arrested.

Not that it matters. I'm sitting here on the beach, I have Kazeraiths gun that I modified so I can fire it. But in rage against the sky... or at myself. Putting myself out of my misery. Yessari has sent me a cryptic message. He has Angelina.



Carmilla closed the datatablet and picked up the gun. It was a heavy beast of a gun and she could see why it was his favorite. If she put the gun against her head, she mused, then the last few days never happened. It... was tempting.

The gun shot disturbed the birds that were nesting and hundreds of them flew into the sky, their wings pure white again the azure blue of the sky.

Jail Break

Angelina held the crying girl in her arms watching the guards leaving, all laughing. They had each taken turns on them both, no doubt while she watched. She didn't mind them doing it to her, but the girl was breaking because of it. And that had to change. And it would today.

She knew from their routine that they had just started a shift pattern. One of them watching while the other two did whatever it was they did. It was now or never, god help me.

She cradled Fazilas head in her arms and whispered in her ears, then looking at the guy in the doorway she snapped her neck quickly. The guard leapt to his feet cursing and ran to the door opening it and firing his tranq at her. He watched as she fell and he ran down, pulling them apart. His brain didn't connect that the dart was sticking in Fazila's side until Angelina hit him, knocking him back and ripping his knife from it's sheath, and stabbing him in the throat. She watched him die and pulled his belt off, wrapping it aroudn her own waist, reducing it to fit and checking the mag in the pistol. As the second guard ran in she shot him in the face and the third in the knee cap, watching him fall to the floor and put a round into his eye socket. Far off she could hear an alarm sounding.

Marika stormed back into her office and sat down, bringing up the security footage from Angelinas cell. Several guards were with her, weapons ready.
"How could this have happened? There were three armed guards there!"
"We think the first guard paniced when he saw her kill the girl."
"She... did... what?"
"She killed the slave known as Fazila. Snapped her neck."
Underestimated her again. How cold is this woman.
"Find her. Bring her to me. Dead or alive!"

As she passed them she opened the cells of the other prisoners. Most couldn't or wouldn't move, but some, the pirates and the minmatar stormed ahead of. Every guard they killed they lost three, but they were paving the way. As the prisoners rode the elevator to the next level up she climbed the structural units. Level after level she climbed until reaching the roof. As she stopped there and waited, sitting on the highest bar to rest she watched the first elevator drop to the ground, then the second one. Until it was repaired no one would be going up or down. An elevator door to her left opened up and a guard looked down at the elevator and turned into the room. She shot him in the back of the head and swung into the door and came up gun blazing. Guards and office workers fell. Grabbing a larger gun from the nearest guard she blazed away at the security camera's and jumped down at a terminal. A few frantic commands and she pulled up a schematic of the floor she was on. Hearing the sounds of boots running towards he she raised her rifle and fired til the power cells ran out.

"How the hell did she get to the top level? I thought I told you to seal off the elevators?"
"We did, she must have climbed up."
"Impossible! She's been starved, brutalised, and raped daily. Should be a quivering wreck like the other slave!"
"Well... she's not."
"Seal off all exits. Any ships docked get them up into the air. And get that battleship in orbit. I'll raze this facility before I see her escape!"

The pilot and co-pilot boarded their shuttle as they watched the pressure doors close leading into the hanger bay and as soon as they signalled they were ready the bay was depressurized.
"Wonder what's going on."
"Probably just another drill. Damn, I'll have to check the seals on the garbage disposal, something reeks here."
A voice at the edge of his hearing caused him to turn around and he looked into the pitted barrel of a large pistol.
"You would too after weeks of torture."
Before he could open his mouth to scream the bullet tore half of his face apart, the second shot taking out his co-pilot, her brains spattered across the console. Angelina pulled the bodies out and sat in the chair and looked out the window and saw something that made her smile.

On board the armageddon 'Denial of Reason' the bridge crew watched the last shuttle board and then pulled away from the docks. Deep in the core the pod of the capsuleer who flew the ship was plugged into everything. But, this was an older model ship and half of the security cameras never worked. Even so, no one noticed the blonde pilot who walked away from the shuttle and headed towards the engineering deck.

"I dont care! Seal off the command centre, blow the seals on the compound, I want hard vacuum in every room except this one! I want her dead!"

Several lights lit up in the pods display as the capsuleer noticed a problem in engineering. Neurons flashed as commands were sent but not actioned. The security camera's in the engineering block were showing static. Core temperature across the ship was falling and oxygen levels were also dropping. Sirens and warning symbols were flashing up across the board as hatches were opened to space venting atmosphere, airtight doors were opened through the entire ship. Howling winds dragged everything and everyone out into space. In a matter of minutes the entire ship was cold. Isolated pockets of life forms were showing up on internal sensors until they too went offline.

Something moved through the corridors, a hulking white shape that walked methodically towards the centre of the ship. It stopped next to a door marked danger and opened it, stepping inside and pulling out a cutting torch and attacking a wall.

In the pod the capsuleer look around trying to work out what was going on. Systems were going dead, access was being taken away piece by piece. A systematic cascade failure of all systems was happening... then it noticed the heat. A patch on the pod wall was warm, then hot, then glowing red, white then exploded into fire. The beam from the cutting torch seared the fluid in the pod, warnings flashed of pod breach and pod fluid was draining from the hole.

Angelina looked at the pod through the zero-g suit as the last of the pod goo boiled away into the vaccuum. She didn't have to look at the capsuleer to know it was dead. Grimly she made her way down to the hanger bay and back into the shuttle.

Down in the command centre Marika watched as the armageddon began to fall out of orbit. Few heard her scream as the ship impacted and exploded several miles away, but still close enough to crack the glass in the command centre.

The shuttle crash landed on one of the islands of a planet in the Seshala system. She lay on her back on the beach, starved, dehydrated and suffering from several broken bones. Water lapped up at her as the high tide reached her and but for the strong arm of someone pulling her further up the beach she would eventually have drowned. A boot flipped her over and opening her eyes in the light she saw a shadow stand over her, with two heavily armed guards behind her. A spike boot rested against her throat, pressing down making her retch and feebly grab at the leg.
"Well well well. Angelina Ballentyne. Now this is a surprise."
She coughed unable to breath and the light started to fade in her eyes, but not before she recognised who was standing on her throat. As she slipped into unconsciousness she heard the voice, recognised it, and dread filled her bones.
"It's about time you returned to me," proclaimed Ithiria Deritan,"Though I'm sure you would have wished it was your sister who found you. Now my dear, you are mine. And I'm damn well going to keep you."
Ithirias mocking laugh was loud in her ears as she passed out.

Transferance

Marika Sato sat at the table and watched the wall screen, a thirty foot high definition image of two women in a prison cell. She studied them both, one she knew intimately, how she screamed, how she bled, how she begged. The other was still a mystery.

The sebiestor was born into her estate, and had known the taste of her lash since she had come of age. Most days she inflicted pain on the girl.... Fazila... Fazila of the tears as she called her, for no reason other than she wanted to. Watching her guards use her had become boring now, but still let them use her. Beauty had not faded from her, it would over time, but for the moment she was the most popular slave whore she had.

The civire however, was an enigma. A pirate, a heretic and a wanted criminal. With all the beatings she had suffered, the abuse, the humiliation... and still she walked around her cell like a predator, and with more pride than she should have. Three guards had died at her hands, three! One while she was bound! The guards had taken to firing tranq darts into her before even venturing into the cell. But aaah, to break such spirit, and have it kneel before me and proclaim me Mistress as she should. That will be such a sweet day. The collar... hadn't even phased her, though she was now as good as mortal. She had worn it to save Fazila from a beating, and it had for a time. But even with it on.... she walks freer than most. She will endure the most savage of beatings to protect Fazila... if only I had her sister.

Angelina paced around the cell and flexed her arms. A pain lanced through her arm after the last beating, still pulsed days later. For the thousandth time she looked around the cell and still did not despair. From the original cell they had both been placed in this one, a dank and cold cell with a stream running through it from a crack in the wall. She was under no illusions that it was clean, she had tasted the guards urine in it, oh how they must have laughed at that one. Food was enough to live on, but not ehough to keep the hunger away. That atleast seemed to be clean... though drugged most likely. The single door leading into the room was at the top of a curving flight of stairs, no rails. No bricks to prize loose, it all looked to be carved from the bedrock again. The door, solid tempra-glass and always a guard on the other side. A single bed filled one corner and a small table bolted to the floor. Well she knew the table now, tied to it by the guards, or Marika and whipped or taken.. or both. The guards she knew now by size it had become that regular.

She watched Fazila sleep. True she did look like Carmilla, enough for her to belive that it had been her on the grainy film that she'd been shown. But after days of starvation, and the electo-shocks and the beatings, she had believed it was her and had cracked. Not broken, never broken. Not by her. Better had tried, the Admiral for one. Gallicia... Esna? No.... Esna at least had loved her. And she had betrayed him. Again she looked over at Fazila and sat on the bed and curled up with her keeping her as warm as she could. There would be a way out, they would slip up somehow. Or someone would come. But even as she thought it, she knew... time was running out.

Marika blew a plume of smoke into the air as she studied the screen. It was time to go back in, time to try and break her. She got up and stubbed out her cigarette on the palm of the slave beside her and headed to the cells, four of her guards falling in behind her. Oh Angelina, there will be screams tonight.... I promise you that.

The Snake and the Wolf

Carmilla left the medical centre and headed up to her room, dropping her kimono on the floor and shouting for her geisha's. Thumping a panel a terminal appeared behind a sliding mirror and she sat down infront of it. Flipping through a small notebook she tapped a few keys and a face in shadow appeared on a screen. She paused as the face blew a plume of smoke at the screen.
"Carmilla. Been a long time. Hows the slaving business?"
"It's good Carlo. I need a favour."
The face paused in shadow and blew another smoke plume at the camera.
"What do you need? You know it'll cost."
"It's worth it. I need the flight plan of a shuttle," she reeled off an identification code,"I need to know where it started off. Chances are he switched ships wherever that is. So when you find the station send me a list of ships which have wolf in the name, or are wolf class ships. It's a tall order and I need it yesterday."
"You are asking a lot. You sure you can afford it?"
"I can... I have to. You have my personal terminal address, I'll be in space by the time you get it."
She keyed off the terminal and turned to the geisha who were in the room now.
"Hinare is in the medical bay. I want him kept there. Be creative, and make sure he is comfortable. Be careful of him as he's a wolf and he will bite. Now, get me my black kimono I have work to do. And find me Kim and Korinne and tell them to meet me at the landing pad."
She stripped and headed into the shower, returning after a while and slipped into her kimono. Accessing the Terminal she saw a message. A ship name and it's travel plans. She smiled coldly, now she had a destination.

Kim and Korinne walked towards the shuttle and looked up Carmilla. Together they all jumped into the shuttle and headed off towards the jumpgate.
"Carm... what's going on?"
"I have to kill someone. But I need... someone to help me do it."
"Who? And why am I here?"
"You are here Korinne... because the person i'm getting to do this I can't trust and she is dangerous. And I may need you to stop her."
"Who is she?"
Carmilla was quite for a while until she was prodded. Even then she spoke slowly and deliberately.
"She is me. The old me. The clone that survived Galilcia and the Serpentis for six years."
The shuttle was silent until they docked in the destination station.

From their hotel room Carmilla and Kim hacked into the security systems. Together they spooled through the footage until they came across what they were looking for. Hinare, wounded heading for the docking bay and his ship.
"Okay, now we just need to wind back... see which room he was in and who his target was."
"Carm. What are we after?"
"Hinare's target got away from him. I need to find him."
"Why?"
"So I can kill him. I almost lost him and people will pay for that."
Kim smiled and said nothing. Korinne simply raised an eyebrow.
"He means that much to you?"
"Yes. No wher near as much as Ithiria means to me... but enough to do something foolish."
Carm flipped back through the security footage and watched the assassination attempt.
The assassin approached the target swiftly. The bodyguard moving to intercept, a weapon firing with uncanny speed and accuracy. A blade flickering and the bodyguard falling, but the target escaping.
She looked at the frozen face of the target and printed it out and gave Kim a copy.
"Find him. I will meet you at the cloning station. And when you do, find the room two doors down from it. Either rent it or arrange something at it, a dancer gift for the occupant. There is a reason..."

Serpentis Prime has numerous cloning centres, several large ones for the use of the faithful and an unknown number of hidden secret ones. It was to one of these that the cloning master awoke to the sirens indicating a clone was activating. He dragged his old bones to the centre and checked the console, gasping as he saw which one was activating and selected the clones posessions.

Carmilla awoke and stood up, the memories of her last couple of years slowly imprinting themselves on the clone until the memories were perfectly synchronised. She flexed muscles that she had forgotten and writhed in a sensual way, music in her movements. Her body was covered in healed scars, great tattoos of serpents writhed across as if alive. The three tattoos that she was known to have, dwarfed by the size and beauty of what was on her now. She pulled her hair back, wiping the slickness of the cryo liquid from it and looking around. Each movement accentauted her body, muscles rippled and the look in her eyes was pure darkness, steel as black as night, yet as blue as the never ending sky.
"I never expected to see your clone, Little Snake."
"Quin... I never expected to be back. But there are things that have to be done."
"You said you would never use this clone again. If Gallicia spots you, you know you'll be powerless before him. It'll be like you never escaped."
"I know, but I have to do this. Do you have my things?"
He smiled and opened the box and she looked inside. She pulled out a dancers garb and a silver bodice decorated with the serpentis sigil. Boots of quicksilver with heels in the shape of snakes tapped on the floor as she walked to a mirror. Quin passed her a small bag and before long she was ready. She looked in the mirror...and remembered.
"I was beautiful, Quin."
"You still are. But you are also deadly. Be careful Little Snake, hide this clone well when you change back."
"That's if I change back.... this body is so much more than what I have currently."
"This is not you. Never forget that... if you stay in this body, Gallicia will own you again. You cannot break the conditioning he placed on you."
"I know... pray for me Quin."
She wrapped a long red silken cloak aroudn her and stepped out of the cloning centre and headed towards what she rememebred was a starport.

Kim walked purposefully towards the lobby of the building, behind her Carmilla, clad in the crimson hooded robes skipped and danced. Korinne walked behind them both, keeping her distance, watching all around.
"We have a delivery for room 338. A dancer has been arranged for Sire Kirla."
The receptionist smiled and nodded and tapped a few keys behind her.
"Aaah, yes we have you on the list. Please go straight up."
Kim nodded and smiled and slipped a credit chip across the top to her and they made their way to the elevators.
"Are you sure this is what you want Carm?"
"I'm sure."
"I'll back you up, you know that. And Korinne will back us both up."

The bodyguards stationed outside of room 340 watched in amusement as Kim and the dancer walked up to the 338 and knocked. The conversation was brief and the two of them went into the room. However a few moments later screams were heard and a young child ran out the door, covered in blood and down the corridor. Seconds later, the red robed figure walked into the corridor and flung back her hood and walked towards them. Blood covered both of her hands and the look in her eyes was unnerving to them. They pulled their weapons out, but even before they had them raised she was at them. Blades appeared in her hands and into the throats of the bodyguards and with a leap she kicked the door and rolled inside. As Kim made her way out of the room and looked down the corridor she saw the two guards dropping and the guards in the room slamming the door shut as they surrounded her daughter.

The target looked up as the ten men surrounded her. All of them had weapons out, guns, swords, stun sticks. Carmilla stood in the middle of them and her cloak dropped to the floor. Her snakes moved around her body as they all watched. The target laughed at her and slapped his table.
"I knew someone would come again. I didnt' know it would be a Serpentis Assassin. And such a beautiful one. I think my men and I will have our pleasure with you before we kill you."
"I'm not Serpentis. Though I am going to definately have my pleasure with you and your men."
The targets laughter died in his throat and he growled. As he heard someone hammering on the door.
"Kill this bitch... then kill whoever is at the door."
Carmilla... smiled with a look of pure evil.

Korinne gave up kicking the door and pulled out a heavy bore pistol and blew the lock off. Together they opened the door and ran in, stopping suddenly. Carmilla stood by the window holding the target up in the air. All around there were the bodies of the ten men, all dead.
"Carmilla, by the seven moons...."
"This.... you bastard... is for Wolfbane. You should have died the first time!"
With a roar she threw the body at the window. It smashed and his screams could be heard as he fell. She threw her head back and laughed and stood at the broken window and looked down. Three hundred floors. With a twirl she was back in the room, dancing and laughing.
"Now... we can go and have some fun!"
Kim looked at her and shook her head.
"Korinne."
Carmilla turned her head and looked at Korinne as Kim pulled the trigger on the hypo and fired a tranquiliser dart into her daughter. She swore and pulled at it, only to have Korinne fire a stunner at her. As blackness covered her thoughts she felt Korinne pick her up and throw her over her shoulder.

Kim and Korinne pushed the now naked Carmilla into the clone tube and initiated the transfer. The clone of Carmilla that Ithiria had placed under the Geisha House was ready.
"What will she remember?"
"Everything. But she will be our Carmilla... not that one. Not the Little Snake, not any more."
"I'll take care of her, Kim. I promise you that. Hinare is waiting for her... we should move before someone suspects something."
Kim activated the board and the clone transfered and awoke slowly while a metal sheath covered the other clone tank.

Carmilla walked into the medical bay and saw Hinare on the bed. He looked strained, but then so did she.
"I killed him Hinare. I killed your target. Dropped him 300 floors. No one hurts someone I care about."
"Carmilla....."
Carmilla sat down on the end of the bed and took his hand.
"Now I have to tell my Master what I have done. And my Mistress."
"They will be angry."
"Most likely. But you will learn this about me. I am theirs, totally...."

Rest in Peace

RIP Kazeraith, you will be missed and nothing will make me feel less guilty for your passing

I truly am sorry

Angelina