Personal Log - The Hour of Swiftness, the Day of Longing
I have never been so tired, or so sore. This is the second time my Mistress has put me through my paces. And what a trial. I dont think I have ever had so many men at one time. But I did, hour after hour. Until she had to depart on some urgent business. I pleaded to be allowed to come with her, but I was in no state to go. I was taken to my quarters, bathed and cleaned and had a little sleep.
And the day had started out so normally. I had planned dinner with Hinare to try and sort his problems out, but ended up getting distracted again. My earlier meeting with Syn had brought me a new friend, one who has shared a similar story to mine, though with a twist I didn't see coming. I've given her an inviation to the Geisha House, along with her jade, the mysterious green eyed beauty who has taken her heart.
But Hinare.... I dont know what I am going to do with him. I'm torn between my necessary service to my Mistress, and sorting him out. I still believe I have something to do with Wolfbane coming to the surface, and I need to talk to him. But... I have my duties. And truth be told, since I dedicated myself to Mizhara and Ithiria, even though Ithi has been away on alliance business I can't think of much else... than serving Mizhara. My Mistress.
I know if just a few short weeks ago someone had said I would have been kneeling behind her sorting out her hair and styling it while she ate, laughing and joking and as happy as I've ever been... I would have called them a liar. But here I am, her submissive, her servant, her Geisha.
Willingly....
We have put our past behind us and are starting afresh. But I still am haunted by my failures before and I push myself to excel, to show her I am worthy of her love and respect, and I know I am as I see it in her face and bearing. But I can do better, I must do better. For Miz... for Ithi... and for myself.
I am no longer a slave to my emotions, for that I can thank Hinare for distracting me enough to remind Ithiria of what happened before with Bill. I know what I want now, and I have it. As my sister Kael said last night, I am doubly blessed as I have both Ithiria and Mizhara. And it's true, I do. I still feel jealousy and envy, but I know in time that my place is behind Mizhara, three steps behind and just to the left, as Kaels is behind Ithiria.
And... I am no longer a slave. I still wake up in the morning and feel around my throat. All I find is the necklace I was given when I dedicated myself to my Mistresses. Sometimes... when I wake from a sleep from being tired and working so hard I forget myself and the panic sets in, and the collar is there around my neck strangling me while I hear music and mocking laughter. Then I wake from my nightmare.
Oh I don't know, dear diary, what the future will bring me. But I know what I want from it. And I go to meet her now. With luck I will arrive before she awakes and I can be there for her, in my place, on my knees before my Mistress, waiting for her to but raise a finger.
Addendum...
I have never talked much about my sister Victoria. For long ago I lost her, and I regret that loss with all my heart, as Angelina has done. For even though she still flys the space lanes, the person she once was is gone, now she even looks differently. There is no pain than seeing someone you love not recognise you, from ten feet away looking straight at you.
Kaelali, she is now my sister. We both have Mistresses we love and serve, we both know our place in the world, though we come from different stock. We even have a past that has brought us into conflict before, when she was a Holder, and I was rescuing slaves. But that was several lifetimes ago. Kaelali, my sister, I will always be there for you.
I have never been so tired, or so sore. This is the second time my Mistress has put me through my paces. And what a trial. I dont think I have ever had so many men at one time. But I did, hour after hour. Until she had to depart on some urgent business. I pleaded to be allowed to come with her, but I was in no state to go. I was taken to my quarters, bathed and cleaned and had a little sleep.
And the day had started out so normally. I had planned dinner with Hinare to try and sort his problems out, but ended up getting distracted again. My earlier meeting with Syn had brought me a new friend, one who has shared a similar story to mine, though with a twist I didn't see coming. I've given her an inviation to the Geisha House, along with her jade, the mysterious green eyed beauty who has taken her heart.
But Hinare.... I dont know what I am going to do with him. I'm torn between my necessary service to my Mistress, and sorting him out. I still believe I have something to do with Wolfbane coming to the surface, and I need to talk to him. But... I have my duties. And truth be told, since I dedicated myself to Mizhara and Ithiria, even though Ithi has been away on alliance business I can't think of much else... than serving Mizhara. My Mistress.
I know if just a few short weeks ago someone had said I would have been kneeling behind her sorting out her hair and styling it while she ate, laughing and joking and as happy as I've ever been... I would have called them a liar. But here I am, her submissive, her servant, her Geisha.
Willingly....
We have put our past behind us and are starting afresh. But I still am haunted by my failures before and I push myself to excel, to show her I am worthy of her love and respect, and I know I am as I see it in her face and bearing. But I can do better, I must do better. For Miz... for Ithi... and for myself.
I am no longer a slave to my emotions, for that I can thank Hinare for distracting me enough to remind Ithiria of what happened before with Bill. I know what I want now, and I have it. As my sister Kael said last night, I am doubly blessed as I have both Ithiria and Mizhara. And it's true, I do. I still feel jealousy and envy, but I know in time that my place is behind Mizhara, three steps behind and just to the left, as Kaels is behind Ithiria.
And... I am no longer a slave. I still wake up in the morning and feel around my throat. All I find is the necklace I was given when I dedicated myself to my Mistresses. Sometimes... when I wake from a sleep from being tired and working so hard I forget myself and the panic sets in, and the collar is there around my neck strangling me while I hear music and mocking laughter. Then I wake from my nightmare.
Oh I don't know, dear diary, what the future will bring me. But I know what I want from it. And I go to meet her now. With luck I will arrive before she awakes and I can be there for her, in my place, on my knees before my Mistress, waiting for her to but raise a finger.
Addendum...
I have never talked much about my sister Victoria. For long ago I lost her, and I regret that loss with all my heart, as Angelina has done. For even though she still flys the space lanes, the person she once was is gone, now she even looks differently. There is no pain than seeing someone you love not recognise you, from ten feet away looking straight at you.
Kaelali, she is now my sister. We both have Mistresses we love and serve, we both know our place in the world, though we come from different stock. We even have a past that has brought us into conflict before, when she was a Holder, and I was rescuing slaves. But that was several lifetimes ago. Kaelali, my sister, I will always be there for you.
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